Where in the World Is...

Ok, "Where in the World is Max Kondike?" is not nearly so rhythmically pleasing as "...Carmen Sandiego", but I'm sure that would incur some lawsuit or something, so it's really for the best. The question is: Do you want to find me? In order to alleviate some stress from family and friends as I run around on my bike to places unknown, I have gotten a tracker...of sorts. After much online research, done as much as a break from trying to hack my previous Blog password/ID as to find a way to let people know where I am, I found a reasonable solution.


With a very basic pre-pay cell phone and a downloaded free online application, I have a tracker that will serve fairly well to let people see where I am while I'm out and about. Now, some angst has unexpectedly come about as a result of using this newfangled device: in addition to showing me as a dot on a map, it displays my speed and altitude.


I didn't realize how many people would react to how high I was. Hailing from the low-lying East Coast, friends and family have been surprised at the heights to which I sometimes travel. I can only say that 1: according to the forums on the instamapper.com site, the accuracy of the altitude reading is lacking and therefore unreliable, and 2: I do not wrecklessly traverse inclined roadways, but do, prudently, I believe, navigate these steep roads and follow, within reason, other vehicles who have for whatever reason chosen to exceed sea level roads to explore higher elevations. So, given this admission that I do occasionally ride in higher elevations, but that it is not with wonton disregard for available oxygen, I hope that unnecessary consternation has been averted.


This is probably also applies to the 'speed' display.



So, with the understanding that I am not wrecklessly ascending unknown roads, feel free to check in on me when you know I'm out there.


http://tinyurl.com/mqu52h
http://tinyurl.com/mpxd7a (mobile version)


You'll see me as 'Guido's Mom'. Guido is another of my fantastic animals forever immortalized in the great void of cyberspace...unless it gets changed, in which case those url's should be showing me under whatever animal name I've renamed my device as. Unless you see me at an elevation that makes you uncomfortable, in which case, I'm sure there's been a mix-up in the code and the altitude is more incorrect than usual.


Ok, here be the things you should know to avoid confusion:


1: I only have this 'on' when I'm traveling, getting ready to travel, or have forgotten to turn it off after returning from travel. I also may turn it off before I arrive at my precise destination to avoid any stalker behavior enabled by this Big Brother technology. If I am not at the exact location of the Roach Motel I said I'd be checking into, do not panic.


2: I may, to suit a whim which I may or may not share with you, change how often my position is sent to the application. I can send it as often as every 5 seconds or change it to transmit only on second Tuesdays on which a Full Moon will occur. This means that you may see my dots closer together or further apart on any given day. Do not panic.


3: The dots that show my movement get connected by a pale straight line. Given the frequency of the transmission of my dots, these lines may appear to run all astray of what appear to be paved roads. I promise you that I do not make a habit of taking shortcuts across the grass of highway interchange ramps, it is just a function of a simplified connect-the-dots setting. Do not panic.


4. This tracker is really a pre-paid cell phone. If I lose cell phone coverage, the cell phone will not transmit it's position. I haven't quite figured out the minutia of how everything works, but the phone will apparently continue to store 'x' number of positions and upload those once coverage is re-established. So, if you are frantically refreshing the map page anxious to see the me/dot move as proof of life, it may just be that I'm out of range. The route should display once I've rejoined civilization. Do not panic.


5. The cell phone/tracker runs on a battery. Just like your cell phone does. I have to recharge it periodically. Just like you do. I may forget. Or my charger is packed at the bottom of the bag I just bungied to death on the back of the bike. Or, I think it's in the power outlet and is charging, but the fuse blew or the plug came loose. Just like...well, just like last time the fuse blew and the battery died and no one understood why I was in Buffalo for 4 hours. If the battery dies there is no reporting of positions, no saving of positions for later reporting. You won't know where I am or why it's not showing you where I am. I swear I'm not trying to give you a heart attack. Do not panic.


Ok, well those are the lessons I've learned so far. I'm sure there will be others and I will be sure to pass those along. Really, this is supposed to be fun! "Holy Cow! She's riding thru Death Valley! Let's click on 'satellite view' and see what she's seeing. (Look how HIGH she is!)" Not, "The dot's not moving. Why isn't the dot moving? Did it move?" "MOVE, DAMMIT, MOVE!"


Alright, I'm well aware that that is a gross exaggeration, but I know that some of you are concerned for my well-being, for which I am blessed and eternally grateful, and I really want you to feel secure knowing where I am and enjoy the ride with me.


30 days to the big trip! Smiles, Joanne

Florida here I come.

Well, it's Spring by the calendar, but Mother Nature keeps spitting on that. It's been quite cold and rainy for the past 2 weeks. Not that Maryland doesn't need the rain, but there was a winter weather advisory for Western Maryland 2 days ago. That's just wrong.

Happily, though, I brought my bike in for a check up on Tuesday, so it hasn't been painful not to be able to ride. I should be able to pick up the bike today aaaannnnd then I'll ride it in the cold like I have been anyway.

Saturday I've got a practice run with the guy running the Saddle Sore to Florida on May 8th. Of course, it's supposed to be a high in the low 50's with rain. And, well, why not go to West Viginia where it'll probably be a little colder? Oh, right! and then drive home after dark. That sounds like a plan. I'll have all day Sunday to thaw and the folks are cooking dinner, so I should be ready to work by Monday. If I can't swing that then I shouldn't be trying a Saddle Sore.


So, this guy Hoagy...is certifiable. It looks like a really good match. :) We've been emailing/talking, but Saturday is our first meeting and ride. He couldn't be more exuberant if he was on drugs. He goes by 'Hoagy the Harley Riding Hobo' and he often rides to raise money for kids.

Saturday he's coming from WVA to meet me just to ride, though I'm sure he's checking to see that I won't be his albatross heading to Florida. I think I'll check out and as long as they don't feel like they have to stick with me, the run to Florida is gonna be awesome. Hoagy says you'll either get hooked or never try another one again. We shall see. :)

Tonight, Denise (Lefty) will be heading to York to pick up her brand new Motto Guzzi, already dubbed Fuzzy. Jen, she of the Boulevard S40 who doesn't have a license yet, and Vicky, she who got her HD 883 yesterday will be following Denise to York. (Jen won't be riding.) I'm hoping the bike will be ready in time for me to join them. So, the whole gang has bikes and we're ready to go...somewhere. OK, well all except AM who just bought a new house, so we'll see about her later. She may fly down to Florida to join me for the ride back up the coast, though...

Now to call the shop and see when I can get the bike!

Not quite Spring yet...

Well, I dropped my car off at the shop last night thinking how great it was that I had the bike to get to work and could leave my car to do its thing and not have to wait... and then this morning I checked the weather. I knew it wasn't going to be warm, but I didn't realize that 'possibility of flurries' was on the schedule, either.

I learned a few things from this morning's ride, though, so it wasn't *pointless* discomfort.

First, I am really impressed with the Fieldsheer jacket I got in February. There are little annoyances about it, like the neckline cuts into my throat a bit. (If I don't velcro it then the feeling that my head is slowly being severed goes away.) Another velcro issue is that the velcro strip running the length of the zipper attaches itself to the velcro on the sleeves making getting dressed much like trying to get plastic wrap to unstick from itself. (If you're not moving around or are zipped up it's not a problem.) Even so, I'm very happy with the jacket. It was about 34 F on the ride in at 55-65 mph and my torso was still comfortable. I wasn't *warm* like when it was 50 F out last week, but, with just a tank top on, the quilted liner and jacket kept me from being cold. And that's well worth headless plastic-wrestling.

Second, I have begun work on a scientific formula to determine whether one should travel faster and endure the resulting increase in discomfort caused by increased wind chill or reduce speed/windchill, but need more time to arrive at destination. Contemplating an earlier exit off the highway this morning, I chose to continue at max speed and numbness in order to arrive more quickly in front of my office space heater. The idea of being uncomfortable a minute longer than necessary, whether mildly or seriously uncomfortable, seemed a nugatory consideration. Someone really should commission a study and let me know.

I will also share some other discoveries:
A bike with a windshield is warmer than a bike without,
A car in need of an oil change is warmer than a bike with a windshield.
Drumming frostbitten fingers on your grips to increase circulation hurts.
Chaps increase comfort against wind, etc, except where they don't cover.
Legs serve to funnel cold air directly to said unprotected area.
A bike's engine gives off more heat in warm weather than in cold, thus you will not be able to warm your hands at stop lights in the winter, but you can roast marshmallows in the summer.
And, any awe or mystique parking lot bystanders may have upon seeing you riding your bike is immediately quashed if cold muscles and frozen joints cause you to walk funny after dismounting.

Well, I can only hope that we'll get into the 'low 40's' today for the ride home. Let the lessons continue!